After walking out of the endo´s office, I went home feeling more depressed and hopeless then I had ever felt. It just seemed that coping with depression was going to become ingrained into my future, and honestly, I did not want to go on if it meant that I would be feeling depressed for the rest of my life.
Hitting the lows of all lows in my life, left me in ´desperation mode´, and I decided to take matters into my own hands. As a test, I upped my synthroid dosage without the knowledge of any of my doctors. I did think about all the things that could go wrong with a dosage that is too high, but even those risks were not enough to deter me from wanting to live a semi happy life. Anything was better than having to deal with depression, even if that meant osteoporosis or a heart attack, or something else. Risking what was left of my fragile health, was well worth it if my emotional health improved.
The next morning, I took one and a half pills instead of the usual one pill which was prescribed to me. I went through the day feeling as bad as I had been feeling, but continued to hope that things would change in the upcoming days.
Three days after I had upped my dose of synthroid, I noticed that I was feeling a little better, and for the first time in a long time, a smile escaped my face. A glimmer of hope had entered my being.
As the days continued to pass, my emotional health continued to improve.
My thyroid medication was running out, however, and I knew that I would have to confess to my doctor to what I had been doing, so I called his office and made an appointment.
Two days later, I walked into his office and began telling him about what I had been up to.. He was shocked to say the least, but understood why I had done what I had done.
After hearing about my experience with the endocrinologist, he made an appointment with another endo... a good friend of his.
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