After walking out of the endo´s office, I went home feeling more depressed and hopeless then I had ever felt. It just seemed that coping with depression was going to become ingrained into my future, and honestly, I did not want to go on if it meant that I would be feeling depressed for the rest of my life.
Hitting the lows of all lows in my life, left me in ´desperation mode´, and I decided to take matters into my own hands. As a test, I upped my synthroid dosage without the knowledge of any of my doctors. I did think about all the things that could go wrong with a dosage that is too high, but even those risks were not enough to deter me from wanting to live a semi happy life. Anything was better than having to deal with depression, even if that meant osteoporosis or a heart attack, or something else. Risking what was left of my fragile health, was well worth it if my emotional health improved.
The next morning, I took one and a half pills instead of the usual one pill which was prescribed to me. I went through the day feeling as bad as I had been feeling, but continued to hope that things would change in the upcoming days.
Three days after I had upped my dose of synthroid, I noticed that I was feeling a little better, and for the first time in a long time, a smile escaped my face. A glimmer of hope had entered my being.
As the days continued to pass, my emotional health continued to improve.
My thyroid medication was running out, however, and I knew that I would have to confess to my doctor to what I had been doing, so I called his office and made an appointment.
Two days later, I walked into his office and began telling him about what I had been up to.. He was shocked to say the least, but understood why I had done what I had done.
After hearing about my experience with the endocrinologist, he made an appointment with another endo... a good friend of his.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
After Cancer: My Story...Bad Times Ahead
Nothing really changed immediately after my second surgery. What was supposed to be a day surgery once again turned into a hospital stay due to the same problem with dropping calcium levels.
The next morning, my endocrinologist walked into my hospital room to discuss the new medication that I would be taking.
I was sent home later that morning with a prescription for cytomel 25mcg.
Cytomel is a thyroid hormone also known as (L-triiodothyronine or L T3). The thyroid gland produces small amounts T1, T2,T3 and larger amounts of T4, which is the (T) that most people are familiar with. Unfortunately, most doctors concentrate almost exclusively on the T4 for thyroid patients. (A MISTAKE IN MY OPINION).
I was given a prescription of cytomel for one month post surgery, and while taking the medication, I automatically knew that the dosage was too high, as I began having hot flashes, but refused to report it to the doctors, because I was otherwise feeling really good. The problems began once my cytomel ran out, and I was told that I would only be taking synthroid from then on.
Several days after being without cytomel in my system, everything came tumbling down. Severe depression started setting in, and I could not overcome holding back tears, which was something that I was always capable of doing in the past. (I was never a criar) before this, and now, it seemed that it was all I did.
My energy levels dropped to a zombified state, and I began gaining weight very rapidly.
I made an appointment to see the endocrinologist and told her what was happening to me, and I asked for a prescription of a small dosage cytomel.. Needless to say, she refused... and instead, insisted that my depression was not due to my hormone levels, but rather something else.. She was way off line, and I walked out of her office and went to see my family physician instead.
The next morning, my endocrinologist walked into my hospital room to discuss the new medication that I would be taking.
I was sent home later that morning with a prescription for cytomel 25mcg.
Cytomel is a thyroid hormone also known as (L-triiodothyronine or L T3). The thyroid gland produces small amounts T1, T2,T3 and larger amounts of T4, which is the (T) that most people are familiar with. Unfortunately, most doctors concentrate almost exclusively on the T4 for thyroid patients. (A MISTAKE IN MY OPINION).
I was given a prescription of cytomel for one month post surgery, and while taking the medication, I automatically knew that the dosage was too high, as I began having hot flashes, but refused to report it to the doctors, because I was otherwise feeling really good. The problems began once my cytomel ran out, and I was told that I would only be taking synthroid from then on.
Several days after being without cytomel in my system, everything came tumbling down. Severe depression started setting in, and I could not overcome holding back tears, which was something that I was always capable of doing in the past. (I was never a criar) before this, and now, it seemed that it was all I did.
My energy levels dropped to a zombified state, and I began gaining weight very rapidly.
I made an appointment to see the endocrinologist and told her what was happening to me, and I asked for a prescription of a small dosage cytomel.. Needless to say, she refused... and instead, insisted that my depression was not due to my hormone levels, but rather something else.. She was way off line, and I walked out of her office and went to see my family physician instead.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
After Cancer: My Story...Part 4
The next day, I walked into the hospital where my surgery was to be performed. First I went in to see the surgeon, and immediately after, went in to speak with the endocrinologist, who was to look after my hormone health.
Three weeks later, I walked into the pre-op department of that same hospital to have my pre-op testing done, and three weeks after that, I walked into same area to report for my surgery, which was scheduled for 9 a.m. that day. I was there two hours prior to finish any paper work that needed to be done.
Living in Canada gave me the benefit of not having to worry about paying for my surgery or hospital stay. A great benefit to any patient who has to go through the trauma of a cancer diagnosis, and something that I am extremely grateful for.
I went into surgery with a complete thyroid gland, and was pushed out into the recovery room with one lobe left.
The surgery itself, was supposed to be a day surgery, which means that they cut you up during the day, and let you go home in the evening.
I ended up spending the night at the hospital because my calcium levels dropped quite low due to the close proximaty of the parathyroid glands which control the body´s calcium levels.
After being given many hospital strength calcium tablets, which I may add, where quite yummy, and as many blood tests as calcium tablets, the medical staff felt that I was good to leave the pleasure of their company, and I was sent home the next morning.
One week after my surgery, I received a call from my surgeon´s office, which I found to be strange because I already had an appointment to see him in another week´s time. The woman on the other side of the phone line told me that the surgeon needed to speak with me, and wanted me to come into his office as soon as possible. Ah oh, not again.
When I walked into the surgeon´s office the very next day, I was told that I was one of the unfortunate ten percent of people who needed to have surgery of the thyroid gland twice. During the first surgery, the surgeon sent a sample from the other nodule ( the one which was inconclusive) to have tested, and it also came back positive for the same variant of cancer.
I had my second surgery 6 months later because I wasn´t sure that I wanted to go through another surgery.
Three weeks later, I walked into the pre-op department of that same hospital to have my pre-op testing done, and three weeks after that, I walked into same area to report for my surgery, which was scheduled for 9 a.m. that day. I was there two hours prior to finish any paper work that needed to be done.
Living in Canada gave me the benefit of not having to worry about paying for my surgery or hospital stay. A great benefit to any patient who has to go through the trauma of a cancer diagnosis, and something that I am extremely grateful for.
I went into surgery with a complete thyroid gland, and was pushed out into the recovery room with one lobe left.
The surgery itself, was supposed to be a day surgery, which means that they cut you up during the day, and let you go home in the evening.
I ended up spending the night at the hospital because my calcium levels dropped quite low due to the close proximaty of the parathyroid glands which control the body´s calcium levels.
After being given many hospital strength calcium tablets, which I may add, where quite yummy, and as many blood tests as calcium tablets, the medical staff felt that I was good to leave the pleasure of their company, and I was sent home the next morning.
One week after my surgery, I received a call from my surgeon´s office, which I found to be strange because I already had an appointment to see him in another week´s time. The woman on the other side of the phone line told me that the surgeon needed to speak with me, and wanted me to come into his office as soon as possible. Ah oh, not again.
When I walked into the surgeon´s office the very next day, I was told that I was one of the unfortunate ten percent of people who needed to have surgery of the thyroid gland twice. During the first surgery, the surgeon sent a sample from the other nodule ( the one which was inconclusive) to have tested, and it also came back positive for the same variant of cancer.
I had my second surgery 6 months later because I wasn´t sure that I wanted to go through another surgery.
Monday, November 3, 2008
After Cancer: My Story... Part 3
When I visited my family physician to receive the results from the Uptake test, I felt a little worried that it was going to be bad news.
The doctor told me that the Uptake test was inconclusive because it was showing many red and blue areas, and that The Nuclear Medicine Department recommended redoing the test. My doctor thought it would be better that I go in for a biopsy instead.
When I heard BIOPSY, I was nearly floored. This word is always associated with cancer, and of course, that was the first thing that popped into my head.
The doctor explained what the biopsy entailed, and also told me that the biopsy was a precautionary measure. "I want to be sure that it is just a nodule, and nothing else". He said.
I walked into the same ultra sound cubicle that I had been in not so long ago, and was met by a doctor. There, on the table, beside the sonography machine, was some rubbing alcohol, cotton balls and the syringe.
The test itself wasn´t very painful. Not very pleasant, but not too painful.
Because the nodules were small.. one was 4 mm and the other 5 mm.. it did take some time for the doctor to get a sample. I walked out of the cubicle in about twenty minutes with a bandage on my neck.
The first test was inconclusive, and the biopsy was repeated a week later.
One day after having the second biopsy, my family doctor´s office called me and told me to come in right away. It was right then that I knew that it wasn´t good news.
The next day, my doctor confirmed that indeed one of those nodules was cancer, and the other came back as inconclusive. The left lobe tumor consisted of two types of cancer, follicular and papillary carcinoma.
"You need surgery". He said.
He called the surgeon and endocrinologist from his office and set up an appointment for the very next day.
The doctor told me that the Uptake test was inconclusive because it was showing many red and blue areas, and that The Nuclear Medicine Department recommended redoing the test. My doctor thought it would be better that I go in for a biopsy instead.
When I heard BIOPSY, I was nearly floored. This word is always associated with cancer, and of course, that was the first thing that popped into my head.
The doctor explained what the biopsy entailed, and also told me that the biopsy was a precautionary measure. "I want to be sure that it is just a nodule, and nothing else". He said.
I walked into the same ultra sound cubicle that I had been in not so long ago, and was met by a doctor. There, on the table, beside the sonography machine, was some rubbing alcohol, cotton balls and the syringe.
The test itself wasn´t very painful. Not very pleasant, but not too painful.
Because the nodules were small.. one was 4 mm and the other 5 mm.. it did take some time for the doctor to get a sample. I walked out of the cubicle in about twenty minutes with a bandage on my neck.
The first test was inconclusive, and the biopsy was repeated a week later.
One day after having the second biopsy, my family doctor´s office called me and told me to come in right away. It was right then that I knew that it wasn´t good news.
The next day, my doctor confirmed that indeed one of those nodules was cancer, and the other came back as inconclusive. The left lobe tumor consisted of two types of cancer, follicular and papillary carcinoma.
"You need surgery". He said.
He called the surgeon and endocrinologist from his office and set up an appointment for the very next day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
